Friend or Supervisor
by Danym
Summary: When everything else seems to change, Grissom reconsiders his situation. Response to an elemental challenge. [GSR]


Friend or Supervisor

By Dany

Summary: When everything else seems to change, Grissom reconsiders his situation.

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I don't own CSI.

A/N: This is a response to an elemtal challenge posted by Frederica on YTDaW. The elements were:

- "I don't get moved by much…" (said by Grissom to anyone)  
- an old high school test with a bad grade  
- a broken bottle of wine  
- Sara making a confession  
- a false fire alarm in the lab  
- pictures of Catherine and Warrick, skiing  
Have fun.

xxxxx

Everyone was getting anxious to get back into the building. The hushed whispers from the beginning were getting louder, turning into almost shouts.

Grissom stood away from the chaos. He couldn't take the complaints and the cursing anymore. Sure, a fire alarm, especially if it turned out a false one like this, was bothersome, but it wasn't anything you could change. Protocol had to be followed.

He looked around, wondering where the others were, but the only one he could spot was Sara. She was also standing apart, scowling at the crowd. He imagined that her reason was not the uncontrollable crowd but the fact that she was missing work. She had never liked to be interrupted and today was no exception.

Like a true boss, he had left the building last; well almost. It had been a tough task to get Sara to leave her evidence behind.

Now, he wanted to go to her and apologize for dragging her out, but she was pissed at him. Sara hadn't taken it too well that he had used his body mass to get her out. She wasn't even looking at him. In fact, she was studiously avoiding him.

Suddenly Catherine appeared in front of him, putting one of her hands to her hip. "Are you just going to stand here and do nothing?"

Catherine had the ability to scare him, and not just a bit.

"About what?" He tried to sound indifferent and truly clueless, but he could tell that she wasn't buying it.

A threatening glare and a humorless huff later, he gave up. "There's nothing I can do until the fire department has cleared the building."

Catherine rolled her eyes and was about to say something when the crowd began moving. Some moved towards the entrance, others backed up. The result was that no one got anywhere any faster and someone was pushed against Catherine. She lost her balance and in a move to catch herself, she dropped her bag, which she had thought necessary to save, and grabbed Grissom's arms.

"Hey, watch it!" She called, but it was impossible to determine who had pushed her. There were too many people around.

Catherine pushed herself off of Grissom, straightening her clothes. When she bent down to pick up her bag, Grissom noticed that some things had fallen out. He kneeled to help her, and upon taking a closer look, he noticed some pictures.

And not just any pictures.

There, to his big surprise, were photos of Catherine surrounded by a white world. The surprising element was not the snow, or the fact that she appeared to be skiing, no. What totally caught him by surprise was the fact that Warrick seemed to be doing the same, with Catherine.

Grissom picked up the photos and handed them over wordlessly to her. He only gave her a questioning look but said nothing. The raised eyebrow told her enough.

For a moment, he thought he had done the unthinkable, made Catherine embarrassed enough to lose speech, but then her need to defend herself kicked in.

"It was on our day off, and it's not really any of your business."

Before he could react, Catherine turned and stormed away. Grissom was left behind, confused about what to think and what to do.

Friend or Supervisor?

xxxxx

The memories of the false fire alarm didn't let him go.

He wondered about Catherine and Warrick. Her reaction indicated that things were serious and that their little trip was not one to further a friendship but rather something else. He could only hope that they knew what they were doing. It was a big chance. Was it worth it?

This brought him to the other object of his thoughts – Sara.

She was still mad at him, he could tell, even though her experiment hadn't been compromised by the false alarm. She had insisted on locking the lab and the firemen had only looked in, but hadn't entered. She was giving him the cold shoulder, not talking to him and not even looking at him.

It hurt him as much as it made him angry.

He had only wanted the best for her. What if the fire alarm had been real? Sara had a tendency to ignore warnings and that worried him more every time. He was worried about her…more than he should… as a friend or supervisor.

He had to talk to her and not just about her current behavior. The pictures of his happy colleagues made him wonder if he would ever have that.

One thing was for sure, nothing would change if he didn't do anything. At the very least, he had to clear things up about today.

xxxxx

When the doorbell rang, Sara looked up surprised. Usually, no one stopped by at this time of the day because everyone knew she worked nights. It rang again and she realized she had been thinking too long.

She opened the door and was even more surprised when she saw Grissom standing there, holding out a bottle of wine.

Her eyes wandered up and down, while her mind was busy trying to figure out what he was doing here.

"May I come in?"

Although she had a strong desire to tell him to get lost, her curiosity won out. She took a step back to let him in, and Grissom entered.

He placed the bottle on the breakfast bar and looked back at her. "I want to apologize for _dragging_ you out."

That was most certainly not what she had expected. He looked truly sorry and her anger was beginning to melt. The truth was, it had already started melting when she had noticed him watching her all through the rest of shift. Maybe it had also been the fact that she had realized that she had indeed been behaving irrationally. If it had been a real fire alarm, she would have been risking a lot.

She had to get this stubborn streak under control.

"It wasn't okay how you tried to get me out. Don't ever do that again!" she hissed, startling him with the force the words came out. "But, I know I did it again."

Her posture changed as quickly as her mood. Her shoulders slumped and her head hung. "I have to apologize too. I shouldn't have gotten so defensive. I should have listened to your, and my, reasoning."

Grissom moved towards her, coming to stand in front of her. "Sara, I know you don't want to hear it, but you've got to stop this. One day it won't be a false alarm and you won't have enough time to get out."

She nodded, but didn't look up. He was right; she didn't want to hear this, but that didn't mean she didn't know he was right. And suddenly, Grissom surprised her again. "Sara, please don't ever do that again. I'm not sure I can keep going through that."

Her head whipped up, not really sure if she heard correctly. Had he really said that and did it mean what she thought?

She could only stare at him, not knowing how to respond. First, he's worried, then concerned and now this. She knew that he cared, but that wasn't enough. It wasn't as if he had told her that face to face.

But now, something seemed different. It wasn't only his words; it was something in his voice and his eyes.

Still, if he wanted to go in a different direction, he would have to tell her. She wouldn't fall for this little-breadcrumbs-tactic, not anymore. She needed more.

"I'll try." That was all she could give him.

Grissom looked a bit disappointed, but accepted her offer with a nod.

Sara turned away to distance herself from him. "Do you want a glass of wine or a coffee?"

She went to the kitchen to keep busy, leaving the ball in his court.

"Wine would be nice,"

Everything else was postponed by silent agreement. Sara picked up two glasses and Grissom went to sit on her couch. "Uh, Sara? What's this?"

When she turned around, she saw that he had picked up a document from her coffee table. Momentarily, she was thrown off balance once she realized what he had discovered.

When she tried to grab the counter, she bumped against the wine bottle. It slid to the end, hovered for a moment and then crashed to the floor. Sara jumped back and Grissom jumped up.

He was the first to recover and hurried over to help clean up. He bent down to pick up the shards, but Sara didn't move. She just stood there, rooted in place, looking shocked.

"Sara, a towel or something."

When she didn't react, he called again, "Sara!"

Finally, she moved, hurrying around the counter to grab some towels.

"You're lucky it crashed to this side. At least there won't be stains on your carpet."

Together they worked on cleaning up the mess in silence, but the closeness was getting to them. Sara had wanted to distance herself from him and now she could feel his breath. This was not helping her to stay calm. To escape the closeness, Sara stood up and went to rinse out the towel.

Soon Grissom was tossing the last of the glass shards away and moving back to the living room area.

"I don't have another bottle." Sara looked around the kitchen helplessly.

"Water is fine."

It didn't look like he was going to leave soon, much to Sara's confusion and slight regret. "Alright."

When she placed the two glasses on the coffee table, she found him staring at the papers again. Fear welled up in her at the thought of disappointing him. No matter how much she wished it wasn't true, she wanted Grissom to only see her good performances…and this was not one of them.

Grissom was staring at a failed high school test. And not just any test. That was the test that had almost cost her her future. "You don't want to know." She was mumbling, hoping that she wouldn't have to explain.

He didn't do her the favor. "Sara, you always say that I don't care, but that's not true."

She could see that he wanted to say something else, but she was too wrapped up in the words that had been spoken. Did he just say that he cared? She wanted to ask, but her voice was gone.

"I came here to…to make sure that you're okay."

Grissom paused, and Sara wondered if he realized how surreal this was getting for her. "I realized that I've made a lot of mistakes and I hope that I can make it up to you."

Sara's mind went blank as his speech overloaded her brain.

Grissom waited patiently for her to process. Her thoughts swirled, making her a bit dizzy. She placed her head into her hands, trying to get everything to stop spinning.

What troubled her was the fact that again he wasn't calling 'this' by any name. Was he trying to make it up to her as a friend, or was he just here as her supervisor? Or maybe….what did he want?

She was tired of being the one to put it out there. Today was the day, she decided. Today, it would be all his turn. If he really cared, then he would have to prove it.

"Okay," was all she said, hoping to draw him out.

"Sara?" She did her best not to react, but her fingers played with the water glass, showing her nervousness.

"Would you please look at me?"

Her fingers stilled, but she didn't look up. He was supposed to do the work.

"Sara, please."

She knew it was a lost cause if he started pleading with her. Her eyes lifted and met his.

When he had visual proof that she was really listening, he began to explain. "I'm very confused when it comes to you."

Grissom turned a bit to face her some more. "I just don't know who to be around you. Am I your friend or your supervisor?"

Sara winced when he only gave her these two options.

"Or…"

She would have almost missed the last 'or' because he was whispering, but she didn't. Now she was all ears. She tried to see beyond his façade, to see what he had wanted to say, but all she saw was fear.

He was scared of what he had been about to ask, and he was afraid of moving forward. Maybe she could help him just one more time. "You can be anything you want to be."

Internally, she cringed. What a platitude to say!

Grissom looked shocked, and for a moment, Sara feared he would run. Instead, he remained motionless, staring at her. "You're giving me too much credit. You always have."

"Oh, cut the crap." His negative answer made her angry. He could never accept things as they were.

"Why can't you just accept it? It's true for me, but you always shoot my opinion down when it involves you." She was really building up steam, and if he didn't stop her, she would vent everything on him.

But he did stop her. "Sara, it's not like that."

When he saw that she was about to interrupt him, he grabbed her hand and continued before she did. "I wish I could say all the right things, I wish I could be like every other guy. Maybe then I could say something 'romantic' like 'That was the most wonderful thing I've ever heard…' or 'I don't get moved by much…' but that's not me."

Sara sat stunned, listening to what he had to say.

"I don't think I'll ever be like that. And I'm sorry for that." Grissom breathed hard, and Sara could hear genuine disappointment in his voice.

Only now did she realize that the real problem was not his lack of faith in her, but in himself. He didn't believe that he could do the things he was already doing.

"Grissom, listen to yourself. You believe so much in others, but so little in yourself…as a person. I don't need this other person you're describing." He just looked at her, trying to process her words. His non-reaction didn't help her current state of exasperation.

"Tell me what you want!"

His stare was getting to her. "Do you want to be just my friend or my supervisor?"

This was it, the moment of truth; and she was doing the work, but she didn't care anymore. "Or, do you want to be the man who loves me and who's loved by me?"

With her last words, she sank into herself, her strength depleted and her will suddenly small. She had laid it all out there and Grissom would have to decide now. There was no way that they could return to their previous state of ignorance. While she was sitting on hot coals, Grissom was taking his time deciding. For her it seemed like forever before he finally spoke.

Whatever his decision was, Sara was determined that this would be either the beginning, or the end.

"I…I want to be all of the above, but not necessarily in that order and I don't know how well that will work."

The smile that wanted out was held back because Sara knew it was not done yet. "Why don't you let me decide how 'good' it works? Let me decide what I want."

She was looking at him again, hoping to see what was going on in his head, but Grissom was well-trained to hide everything. When she was ready to give up hope, Grissom surprised her. "Are you sure?"

Sara didn't have to think long before she nodded.

"Absolutely?" he asked. "Cause there will be no turning back."

She had already made her decision and it was clear to her that, no matter what, this day had already changed everything.

"There hasn't been a way back for a long time."

Her rational statement made him sit up straighter, but this time she could see her words taking effect. Grissom had realized that she was right.

This had been going on for a long time, too long.

"I want to be everything I can be…for you and for me."

This time Sara did smile.

Grissom had shown true determination and she could accept it all now. Not only were they finally on the right track, they were on the road to be more than colleagues or friends…

The end


End file.
